I met my younger self for coffee today.
– a reflection on self-growth.
I met my younger self for coffee today.
She was 30 minutes earlier, and I was right on time.
She was ambitious, a perfectionist. She fears failure, her worth lies on academic validation, and always tries to please everyone around her.
I was calm, trusting God for His plan and wherever he would take me, finding solace in His validation, and owing no one their pleasure.
She was anxious, hands slightly trembling, while I was peaceful, collected. So, I took her hand in mine. They stopped shaking.
Then, she looked at me and asked, “Are we going to be okay?” I said, “You’ll learn a lot.”
She smiled. I winked.
This trend gave me an abundance of retrospective thought – how much I've grown, how much I've endured, and how much I've yet to discover.
Sitting across from myself, I saw someone I once was and someone I was still becoming. Her gaze reflects the same fears, uncertainties, and hopes I’ve carried over time. As her gaze shifted towards her cup of coffee, tracing the rim of her cup absentmindedly, waiting for answers I knew I couldn’t fully give.
Would things get better?
I wanted to tell her that the journey wasn’t always linear. Some days, we take a step forward; some days, we take two steps back. That even the moments of success felt undeserved, and the weight of our doubts won’t vanish overnight. So, I told her she’d learn a lot because she would.
Growth isn’t always about knowing what’s about to happen. Sometimes, it's about sitting with uncertainty – sipping on it like a hot coffee on a lazy morning, and later on realizing that it fuels you in some way. It's about embracing the discomfort of not knowing the answer to everything. To trust that each moment, good or bad, can lead to something greater.
As I look at her, I realized that meeting my younger self for coffee today wasn't just about offering answers – it was also about showing up.
Sometimes, the greatest gift we can give ourselves is simply the space we offer for our past, present, and future – to sit with the person we used to be, the person we are today, and the person we are becoming. It's about acknowledging how far we've come, understanding that we don't need all the answers, not now, not yet. We're allowed to grow in our own time, even if it means making mistakes along the way.
I finished my coffee and stood up to leave, her eyes following my figure as I turned to go. At that moment, I knew that she would be okay. She would stumble, but she would rise, and most importantly, she would learn.
As for me, I was learning too – learning that growth is a journey, not just the destination. Sometimes, the best way forward is simply trusting that we'll figure it out as we go.
So, I smiled at her one last time, nodded in reassurance, and walked away. After all, I haven't just met my younger self. I was meeting all the versions of me I've yet to become.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11 NIV
